I’m not really sure what happened…. for 2 plus hours
- Mark Wahlberg as Cade Yeager,
- Stanley Tucci as Joshua Joyce,
- Kelsey Grammer as Harold Attinger,
- Nicola Peltz as Tessa Yeager, Cade’s daughter.
- Jack Reynor as Shane Dyson,
- Optimus Prime (voiced by Peter Cullen),
- Bumblebee (voiced by Mark Ryan), an Autobot scout who transforms into a modified 1967 Camaro and later, a 2014 Chevrolet Camaro concept.
- Hound (voiced by John Goodman), an Autobot commando who transforms into an Oshkosh Defense Medium Tactical Vehicle.
- Crosshairs (voiced by John DiMaggio), an Autobot paratrooper who transforms into a green 2014 Chevrolet Corvette C7 Stingray.
- Drift (voiced by Ken Watanabe), an Autobot tactician and a former Decepticon who transforms into a black and blue 2013 Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport Vitesse and a helicopter.
- Ratchet (voiced by Robert Foxworth), the Autobots’ medical officer who transforms into a light green Rescue Hummer H2.
- Brains (voiced by Reno Wilson), a Decepticon drone turned Autobot.
- Leadfoot (also voiced by John DiMaggio), an Autobot who is also member of the Wreckers. He transforms into an armored version of the #42 Earnhardt Ganassi Racing Target car.
- Grimlock, the leader of the Dinobots who transforms into a horned, mechanical Tyrannosaurus Rex.
- Strafe, a Dinobot who specializes in assault infantry and transforms into a mechanical two-headed and two-tailed Pteranodon.
- Slug, the savage destroyer amongst the Dinobots who transforms into a mechanical spiked and bestial Triceratops.
- Scorn, the Dinobots’ demolition specialist who transforms into a mechanical three-sailed Spinosaurus.
Director: Michael Bay Writer: Ehren Kruger run time 165mins
For a franchise you either hate all together, have select favs or, love in general or for aspects; This movie doesn’t change that for anyone.
There’s A LOT wrong with this movie. And a seldom many things that are favourable. I’m not really sure on what level this movie fails, but it does in a sum of its parts. The movie opens up well, but seems to lose its focus right after the first cut of movie footage.
To help revive new energy into this franchise, “Marky Mark” Whalburg was brought in to this movie as a happy father/inventor who just so happens to find Optimus Prime. Basically a copy of Shia Labeouf’s Sam Witwickey story had he grown up a bit and been a father/inventor. With him come a slew of new Transformers who just randomly show up. That was problem one. Having a bunch of new characters massively distract you. I think the yearning to know how they came to be or where there were for 3 other movies was distracting. For the robots anyway. As for the human’s, being invested in Shia’ Sam character from the ground running was what helped those movies be slightly enjoyable (as far as “the human aspect” is concerned). With the rush of issues and problems these humans had, though however natural/plausible, it was all forced and rushed so that you care. Not to say you don’t believe they have these issues it was just kinda one after another in a short period of time. I did enjoy the single father perspective which isn’t always seen both in a fictional story or in reality. That was an aspect that probably saved this movie. But not by much. Beyond that theres a slew of new actors in this movie that more or less hurt the franchise than anything. in different movies /roles these actors are tremendous. Under TF4 helmer Bay they might as well been rookie actors so not to have this smear their “legacies”. I think many down play just how good Shia was and is, as an actor, the flair that comes from Tyrese in the previous instalments and so one and so forth. As good as Kelsey Grammar is (if you doubt it, watch the tv show Boss), his role was for not, since most of his character is essentially a background character. Personally I feel he was the reimagined Patrick Dempsey character from Tf3. As a whole the acting is as bad as sour milk after pouring your favorite cereal into a big bowl on a Saturday morning…. or night.
Writing throughout was so bad, it made this an undeniably bad movie. There were so many scenes that I noticed that just basically stalled the movie. Like that elevator scene. Worst thing I seen in a big budget movie since Toby McGuire’s Peter Parker danced in Spider-Man 3. With the amount of bad scenes and terrible writing I was surprised this was green lit. The fact that they keep going further and further back in time to suggest these transformers were some how a key to our history, just screws with the existing franchise continuity so much it hurts to think about. A lot of the typical stylistic jokes that Bay uses in his movies feel flatter than a paper tied to a brick. A lot of the dialogue for characters new and old felt very off. The fact I can say that for new actors, says something. the undertones were weak. so much was wrong that if I listed them all I would bore you just as the movie did me.
Its hard to really say what failed this movie exactly on what level. As with most movies, a movie isn’t really a movie until it has been edited, and if I had to pick an aspect as the the biggest failure, I would pick editing. As crappy as everything else is, it isn’t as bad as the overall tone being slow and boring. 3hours of action seems like my cup of tea, but what I got was 3 hours of mellow drama and spotty action scenes. Beyond that I couldn’t understand half of what was being said due to the intensity of the action and the voice acting of the transformers. for which I blame audio mixing.
It does have its positives but really not much. I like seeing new Transformers but I would love even more so to know exactly where they come from. Every movie we get four new ones that seem to have some investment in terms of the chronological order of stories. Aside from that, don’t allow what the tv show did to dictate these movies. Its ruins them even further.
Bottomline: Its in no way the worst movie ever, its far from a good movie… especially in this spotty franchise. it might be >/=/< than TF2:Revenge of the Fallen, but I will let you determine that one. Its overall tone is a such a drag it bores you. Its like a car driving forward in reverse, with a 1000pound brick wall that’s 10 stories high, a football field wide (or a cfl end zone wide and deep/thick) only getting a half kilometer per gallon. (Lol you Americans might have fun with figuring that out).
Rating 4/10 (strictly for the action. I was enjoyed with it. But it wasn’t bay’s best so far with that.
Ratings for all movies will now be out of ten
- Overall rating of the movie: 4 out of 10,
- Cinematography: 3 out of 10,
- Editing: 0.002 out of 10,
- Audio: -15 out of 10 (Score was lacking, couldn’t hear things),
- Acting: 2 out of 10,
- Theatres or wait for the blu-ray? SKIP!! or just download it. or borrow it from a friend.
THAT’S IT! Cheers: “To Peace”. Your eLEWsive Thought Provided by: the “LEW System”
– Xavier – @CoolyoNgeLEW