New Beginnings

First and foremost I would like to apologize to any parent who I may have accidentally ridiculed. No one understands the (joyous) burden more than those who chose to be an active parent. But I’m getting ahead if myself.

I welcomed my own gift from the almighty a few weeks ago. Rightfully, it brought it’s ups and downs; but the ups are far higher than the downs that come randomly.

A fitting start is, … is myself. Journey with me 10 or so years prior. Asking if I wanted children was damn near punishable by death (kidding); but it was definitely so far off my radar that you could have called me the most experienced in pulling out. Why? Well I was one of those unhopful kids who saw the world as a dying rock… but let’s face it, as highlighted by The POTUS we really need to do something about our overall planets health. At the time, stupid black on black crime seemed like it was an all time high.. or at least gun violence was at a record high in Toronto (By the way, look up black wall street, we need change). Too many Parents and kids (of all ages) alike were dealing with grief, being a victim, or feeling there isn’t another way. I felt like we were doomed as a unified race of “humans” and having kids was just plain out stupid; as I’m setting up an innocent being to be killed… one way or another. It wasn’t until my friend informed me he had a child, and we spoke about how its “changed him”. I realized we saw the truth on “life” (or a shared variety of my truth of/on life). And we had a long adult like talk in and around my 18/20th year since ceremoniously being evicted from the womb. we somehow got on the topic of legacy and life continuing and so much other stuff. We talked as much as a few weeks of work shifts allowed.

Lemme just come out and say this though. I didn’t have a child for the sake of furthing my legacy. That’s idiotic. If those Disney movies taught me anything. Is that everyone has… HAS to grow into their own person. Regardless of any effort you have to shape one’s life. We have to allow (a) parents teaching(s) to be used practically instead of just telling our kids what to do… forever. Or… what’s the point of parenting /training our kids?

So after I got the underlying truth that our kids are what we truly leave behind and it’s our way and manner of parenting that gives us spiritual everlasting. I just so happened to find someone who got me to change my mind fully on the mater. Now she may or may not vex me but, more than anyone else I dated, I saw her as a great female to bare the kicks, tears, pain that my child (of the LEWsystem lol) would bring. I never thought I would find a suitible mate for that task but God found us.. we then found a means to have our love develop into the physical.

That moment. That first moment you hold YOUR real first new born… like immediately after the Dr’s are finished with it, boy or girl, is… incomparable. Nothing prepared me for that feeling. Nothing can. It’s like  it hits you. You absorb it. You see the head… and then the body then the quiet cheers as you sit and wait for the Drs to do what they are hopefully trained to do best. Then, … Then it hits you further when they say you have a healthy baby with all the right parts. Young mothers love to boast about how they found so much meaning in their lives providing nurturing, care, and I guess general parenting. I don’t know what a mother feels or if it matters boy or girl or whatever. But I will say a profound feeling one I couldn’t explain, took over me. I felt excited for all the ups and downs, ready for the first few months post delivery; thanks to those who came to the baby shower. Also from what I was doing way before the arrival.

Ah… My father. A.K.A., the sperm donor. (I really wanna drop his name but it’s not important) according to the one who evicted me from my first home, swears that he never, ever held me, or bought me so much as a pair of diapers or shoes…. or even some clothes to get messy in; as infants find a way to do no matter how hard you try. To me that was my one goal. Be and do more than what he did. I understand the temptations he faced. I don’t excuse them but it should have never interfered with him raising me.

Not having a father led me to relive that one Will Smith scene in my head daily. (You know exactly which scene too. But if you’re like Marggot Robbie, the one when Will Smith cries about his dad not wanting him. That one scene hit EVERYONE. It hit me hard. I always held on to that feeling… be it for the fateful, eventful day I had my own. I know materialistic things never compare to the sentimental but, we also sadly live in a very capitalistic world. Certain things just need to be bought to get other free shit. I can’t predict what kind of man I will be or parent. But I know my every intention is good in nature. I know that with every fibre of my being I plan on raising my boy. I plan on raising him to be honest and as jedi liking as I am. His name has several meanings. And I hope that I can show him those meanings before its time.. my time that is.

Being a parent.. it’s tiring… But no feeling in the world beats it. The smiles, the feeling of being needed (which is never in shortage), none of it is bad. What is bad is judging a person for how they want to raise their own. Be it the occasional ass spanking, or time outs…. dare I say those super stylish… I mean stupid ass (though on the matter of principle, I totally understand why they are used) child leashes. Its not really anyone else’s place to say anything. But obviously, everything is situational.

The biggest thing I learned since.. parents aren’t aything different. I’m sure every kid grew up think their mother was from Mars (but lets be real, that “mommy sense” thing is creepy) and their dad is from Uranus (lol see what I did there) but like Jor-El said. The father becomes the… There’s a clear transition but you’re still you. I started this little entry with that in mind. Parents are to be more responsible, YES, BUT… we are all still who we were before we had kids. We just now have kids and have to rethink our actions and activities. I saw the other day some new mom was catching online chatter about her breastfeeding in her own hose washroom and all these keyboard hoodlums were saying she was gross. I could only laugh at how much they didn’t know. Its hard being a parent. Even harder being a mom (kindly blame God for all your emotional, sentimental way ladies, but thankfully you have them, same ways). I never minded when a woman would feed her child, cause lets be honest and mature for a moment; ( I’m asking you all to be honest a lot, lol) is it not considered to be a more terrible offence to let a child cry in hunger than to just happen to see a boob for all of five minutes. at that, it you who is choosing to look at said boob. It’s not like Justin Timberlake is out just exposing titties on a Sunday night during primetime…. oh yea. I just don’t think its fair to get at moms who are legit just looking out for their kin. plus we aint nothing but mammals who kill for sport and believe we are often to good to read, properly dispose of waste and judge other by our skin variations.

Lastly. Since I live in Toronto Ontario I will way in on this new school curriculum. It’s stupid and should be a parents choice. It’s very unfortunate that everyone has to learn it. I swear that’s an impeachment on ones rights. Be it humanitary or civil. I also don’t think it’s wrong. Just not in the manner in which it’s presented. Children have it harder than ANYONE on the planet. We as adults make laws and rules to be effective for them but we are so short sighted. Case in point, look at the ttc. The city planning way back when was such bull it is affecting generation currently. I think starting this thing at grade 1 or even kindergarten is crazy. Grade 5 is fine. Maybe even 4 as puberty starts early these days. But time will tell the effect it has. Maybe it will lead to a race of humans more tolerant but I just feel it’s a way to lose our kids innocence.. Cause that’s never under attack on the daily as is.

Anyway. This was gonna be a vent about various things but I honestly just made this for my son to read. Hopefully he reads this and learns a thing or two. And in the eventful day I’m not around for whatever reason…. This helps him get through it.

THAT’S IT! Cheers: “To Peace”. Your eLEWsive Thought Provided by: the “LEW System”

Happy Womb Eviction Day, 25 AND GOING.

It’s the first 22 seconds that I have replayed in my head in secret for years since getting the album way back in…… 2004. Literally a decade has flown by since I entered the spaceship (anyone who catches that gets a hi-5 with 5$). So with that said I need to do this:


May anyone who lost a loved one through natural loss or to a violent murderous end before the age of 25, many you Eternally REST IN PEACE.

I have lost and I have gained in 25 years of my life. The world has been in a constant state of change. I mean, Michael Jordan retired, played baseball, came back,.. retired again… CAME BACK and played for the Wizards… aka the Washington Wizards/Bullets. Michael Jackson died… really didn’t ever expect to see that happening. I have lived thru not one but 2 Spider-man franchises totalling 6 movies. I have lived through the greatest era of black urban music (though that is a debatable point), I have lived through the death of Superman, Spider-man, Peter Parker (had to be there), Robin(s) and countless other fictional super hero’s. i even live in a time where a rocket wielding racoon is cool.

I have lived in places one would question and gone to places I only heard about. I, at some point, even met Michael Jordan and many other celebs and personalities (but really, MJ will always be the top). I have done things I “regret” but I appreciate them for I may have lived a life unfulfilled. I finished a movie which is currently in the process of being completed, I’m working on another as well which that starts shooting soon. two and a half decades have gone by and though, it was a bumpy start, i do enjoy where i have placed myself to be with the help of my only father, God (y’all can fight over what to actually call him)

As a kid, I wondered about life, death church and parents. I swore to the heavens anyone who was an adult was the devil or some scary ass alien who just wanted to torture kids with shit they really didn’t need in life. The church was something that my mother had grown up with and made sure was something that was there for me as a guidance measure, if nothing else. I still question religion, more so now, as my curiosity has reached space and the cosmos currently.

If there is one thing that I learned which is the most important thing I know it’s:


There will always be someone you “admire”. That is fine. It helps us to grow as a people; to admire others. BUT do not sit and compare yourself to anyone. Remember, there a guy older/younger, than you who, yes, is a millionaire, but they may not have anyway of knowing how to read, write, or even count. You do, so make that ability work for you.

It sucks that so many people we know have fallen, but what bothers me most is when people have to ask “How many of us____ have to die in order for (simply put) change.” My either quiet or voiced retort is: “If you know/knew just one person dead, That you loved, that’s enough to be as mad as hell and make a change. People will always say, in a defeatist attitude, one person can only do so much. AND IT’S FUCKING TRUE! One person can do IMPOSSIBLE THINGS. Like believe in himself to inspire others. Malcolm X did it, MLK jr. did it, the man known as Spartacus did it, and so many more. With all that is happening around us, religious folk will heed to you its a sign of the times that Jesus is coming, others may suggest it’s citizens finally waking up and saying two letters: NO!

I will join any noble cause that actually has a plan. I plan on doing great things with any form of wealth I am able to gain thru my own hard work. I don’t care to be rich to do flashy shit. I really don’t. I first care about making my community better. But I have to work hard now. Aside from personal goals, this is what wake me. This passion to leave behind a better world. Not to leave behind parties (no shade/not dissing), countless kids, or anything that “normal” folks tend to want. I just want to try to fix what I am able first with me then with where I live, and I believe the nature of a domino effect will happen… naturally.

25 years man. I’m sorry but this is an amazing feeling. My mom tells everyone she can, that when she was doing the pregnancy meetings with her Dr said that either she’d die, I’d die, or we die together. LOW AND BEHOLD BITCH! *Jesse Pinkman voice*. Anywho I have things I need to do before I close my eyes tonight, so a”LEWsystem You’re Welcome ” to all who are wishing me a “Happy Womb Eviction Day!”

THAT’S IT! Cheers: “To Peace”. Your eLEWsive Thought Provided by: the “LEW System”


– Xavier – @CoolyoNgeLEW

Carib… I Mean, Scotiabank (Toronto) Caribbean Carnival


Well the Scotiabank Caribbean Carnival (SCC) has now come and gone and with it many complaints and praises. but surprisingly from the wrong side of field for each.

This, for all intents and purposes, is a rant folks.

Since the fall of what was known as “Caribana”, SCC has taken it over and has, more or less, improved what was really a shy mirror to what you’d expect to see when it’s carnival time in a respectable Caribbean atmosphere. Since I haven’t been to one I have nothing to accurately compare it to, but there’s both an up side and down side to that; which I will get to later.

Let’s start with Thursday.

cred: Teeography (Tee Teeography Murphy)
cred: Teeography (Tee Teeography Murphy)

Dr. Jay, who is essentially the foremost known DJ in Canada when it comes to Soca music, (Just ask Iwer George) threw his annual “Re-Jouvert-nate”. It was as good as it’s always been. With performances from Problem child and Skinny Fab, you can’t go wrong. The atmosphere and vibes were just nice… as were the women.

Friday was prep day for many. Which is where my issues really come from. News came to me that some of the bigger bands were only handing out costumes on the Friday for either a section or in general which, in personal opinion, is ludicrous. Bands should have had all costumes finished by the Tuesday latest and sent out by Thursday leaving Fri to be the day to make any necessary adjustments. Especially considering that most registration took place way back in April/May and many sections were sold out before the end of that said month. I think, given their instagram feed, Toronto Revellers were the only ones who were saying come and play with us ’till the very end before SCC. One band apparently had soon to be masqueraders waiting 5 plus hours (No names though) for their costumes. That is utterly ridiculous. Sadly I wasn’t able to attend “Pan Alive” as I had planned.

Saturday. This serves as your disclaimer. Due to two prior altercations before I even got to the CNE, and the belief I had lost my wallet, I didn’t take many pics this year.

Caribana routeSo I got there, finally, safe and sound after deciding to walk there since I was #6 on the road, entered and was shocked that it was so easy to get in without any formal search. Not that I wanted a pat down, but as a safety measure, it would have been nice to have just that small bit of reassurance that some level of checking was done giving the more tragic side of Caribana’s/SCC’s past. I was even more bewildered that not many knew where to go. I had a general idea of where to go since I had seen that the parade route before hand and the mas set up was pushed back towards the “Medieval Times” building. But, as I said, there wasn’t many who knew where exactly to go or how best to get there or if that was even the confirmed spot to go to (I’m looking at you, you scarce parade marshals and organizing officials). I asked one person he looked me dead ass serious saying:

ELEW:(my question) Where do the mas players go?
SCC MEMBER (SCC.M)”Well, horse I ain’t know where that is nuh… that.. that ain’t my department.”
ELEW: but…. Ok. No thanks for you
SCC.M: no problem.

Luckily, I had recognized some mas costumes from both Revellers and Saldenah so I followed them and I got to where I needed. maybe 45 mins after getting to the mas set up area, we were on road. Which was fairly simple. We passed one judging point, and were well on our way to this apparent second judging point. Which, for the sake of reasoning, can ANYONE explain to me why there were two judging points? it was at this point that everything kinda went down hill in terms of wallet going missing and the parade becoming a problem for many others who paid to play mas. I will say this first; for quite some time I was a “non payer” to the event formally known as Caribana, so in many ways, I side with them, “the stormers“. From since I was small I have witnessed people hopping the fences to join the masqueraders down the Lakeshore. I never had an issue aside from the hip-hop/rap truck and the reggae truck in my frequent attendance at this event in past. Both of which I didn’t see this year (but for the life of me, I can’t fathom why any sensible person would want the hip-hop truck there considering most of the negativity and ignorance that, that genre of music promotes on the regular at the parade. And PLEASE don’t try to use conscious rap as a valid argument. You know damn well they won’t play that at on the road.). The hip-hop/rap genre of music really doesn’t fit the vibe of the carnival in honest opinion. But, as usual, money still has to be made. Any who, on the flip side, my mother has been participating with creating and making mas just as long as I’ve been half an egg and a sperm cell. She instilled in me an appreciation for the hard work that goes into making these costumes for so many. Furthermore, she always took me to see the “King and Queen” show where the bigger costumes would be judged and showcased. Since this year I was playing mas, I was hoping to catch a different vibe. I can certainly say, paying big dollars is almost a waste in Toronto as there was no difference to getting on the road. The “Stormers” (is it wrong that I think of storm troopers every time I say that word?) caused such an issue at this apparent second stage of judging (and most of the road I’m hearing), that no one could get back (as I was trying to find my wallet), some bands and some band sections apparently couldn’t cross said stage, and that “judging” couldn’t even take place as a whole since there were so many just “interrupting” the progress. Dr Jay had a series of tweets venting about how the organizers and parade marshals didn’t do enough to clear the stormers off the parade route much less give a clearing so each band could be judged. Also mentioned that there wasn’t in terms of notifying where the judging point was so that mas players could get organized to display their costume properly. For a minute, I will be honest. There isn’t much ONE single wo/man can do to stop hundreds of thousands of people from going wherever, but something can be done. This year I noticed most bands made no effort to lock off their band with orange fencing, rope, or the combination of the two with some skinny pieces of wood. If this be the new parade route and trend for mas bands going forward, I would suggest building some sort of actual stage (maybe closer to the assembly area) so that the rest of the road can be the party it seems to want to be each year. or if you insist on fencing, build it high enough and add barbwire or make it similar to the indy races fencing scheme. It obviously sucks that it must come to that, but in order to keep it mas friendly, how else can you prevent it? (you can sound off in the comment section below) In addition to this, its important to remember something. Not only do fences keep people out, they keep people in. So, even if you wanted to clear them off the road, you have to give them an exit point as well (typically close to the same place one can enter the parade route). Soon after accepting my loss wallet, I left to go home and slept. It was on hell of a good sleep. *UPDATE* OUT OF THE 9 BANDS (NOT ALL WERE ABLE TO COMPETE) THE WINNER FOR BAND OF THE YEAR WAS SELECTED: Toronto Carnival Band Of The Year Results: 1) Nationz 2) Saldenah 3) Revellers. I find this troubling as to what exactly did they have to choose from? However it was basically a no brainer as Nationz had won everything else mas wise prior to the parade. First time ever one band swept everything.

Sunday. I decided to try something different from the normal fete choices like Fire Fete (before someone takes that the wrong way, THIS IS NOT A DISS). I went to more of a lime than anything at the olympic island(one of the many Toronto island clusters, just to the left of centre island). It was honestly well worth it. granted there could have been more but it started from around 10 am and went to about 9:30 PM with musical acts like Blaxx, Iwer George, Pan Phantasy, Tallpree and more. I would say it was basically a Fire Fete, before Fire Fete. There was  LOT of room to hold hundreds more. What I felt was wrong or off about it was the fact it ended at 9:30. Once the bigger acts came on, the crowd responded and was ready to move and party. Time really flew by once the performances started (I got pics and video coming shortly for this event). But the biggest highlight for me was talking to the CEO (Knia Singh of the brand known as Caribana. We talked about his vision for the fateful day of when he and his team can reacquire whats now known as SCC. He is very ambitious in that desire. Obviously at the moment, what he wants is a bit of a long shot, but to try to sum it up, he wants to bring back the festivities of old to the younger generation so they can one day carry it forward as well but with way more accountability. I would suggest that after this year, Mr. Singh may have a real good shot at doing so.

“Look around you what do you see. Scotiabank. This isn’t a cultural event anymore, this isn’t a community event, it’s a corporate ad.”
-Knia Singh


He was right. I don’t think Scotiabank took in how much of a community setting Caribana was (or tried to be). We discussed many things like the process of making mas and I informed him that some/certain bands (for some reason) ship parts of the mas making responsibilities to “China” and he said one of the greatest things. “Why not ship it back home to Trinidad or just anywhere in the Caribbean?” and I told him he’s right. I don’t want this to come off as a racial thing, but for a moment think of it this way. So much of what the black community is/was has been “sold out” to others where we then lose out on passing it down/forward to future generations (I don’t just mean Caribana either). Does anyone remember/know of black wall Street? I’m not saying China doesn’t need the business from this, I’m not saying that the Chinese can’t make or even participate in making/playing mas (that’s just all kinds of ignorant). I just personally feel that if we, as a whole or even an individual, are gonna let someone profit off this thing (which no matter what will be the typical elected official) why not share the wealth within the same place this all started? I obviously don’t know if, in the caribbean they do the same thing by shipping it out, but I see it like this. A few years ago some Canadian politician said that making our own Canadian flag in China was “wrong” (I want to say it was the late Jim Flaherty) so technically this is no different than our national flag.. Since this style of mas is predominately a caribbean thing, why are we letting “others” make our thing? Again, this isn’t a race thing, this is just about keeping something within our community and within our culture. Yes! I know there are all walks of life in the caribbean from Black, White, Asian, Dougla, etc. But being able to give back to them from up here, I think would serve a higher purpose then waiting for whoever is going back “home” and filling up their luggage with things to take back, or sending barrel after barrel to aid members of the family still back “home” or just its citizens in general.

As for Monday, I went to Smile 4 and took video coverage for that, so be on the look out for that.



2013 in review… Thank you!!

Take a look at how you helped me last year. In 2014 theres gonna be a lot more coming and more videos. so stay tuned and wait. Thank you for your continued support. May the LEWsystem be with you. The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 5,500 times in 2013. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

A Boy Child Wakes

So I got into school… You’re welcome. One of the requirements was to write a short story from any angle, about a child alone. Oddly enough I’ve been in those situations many of times so the story, honestly, wrote itself. I really enjoyed it, it has a bit of truth to it, but I wont say where. I wrote it quickly, didn’t have much time to proofread it so let me be, ok? Let me know what you think.

A boy child wakes up, distorted and confused. He looks up and wonders why he’s all-alone, on a bus, full of people. He doesn’t begin to call for help. He simply wonders how long he’s been out for. He begins to remember why he’s on a bus, he was to go to a baseball game with his dad who, finally made time to see the boy. The boy begins to wonder why can’t he find his father. Looking around for a face, any face that seems friendly enough to approach. His mother always told him to never speak to strangers, but this seems like a worthy exception.

“Excuse me miss, do you happen to know the time?” said the boy.

“Why certainly, young man.” Said the middle-aged woman, “Why it’s a quarter past 2pm.”

“Thank you.” Says the boy.

He remembers how much he would be in trouble if his mother found out he didn’t speak with manners. With getting the time, he begins to sing: “Take me out to the ball game…” only to calm himself. He’s beginning to wonder where his father is. His mother explained to him, that his father was a deadbeat, who didn’t want to spend any time with him. For his father, wanted to chase other women instead of being a real man. That’s when it hits this boy, Crixus the II (2nd), which right before he had passed out, his father, Gannicus, was being very friendly with a woman. Touching her leg and making jokes that he didn’t understand. He begins to inquire about his current location.


Crixus says to himself “That was easy,” but he knows it’s not easy from here on out. He has no clue where he is. He only knows where his mother takes him on her way to work to drop him off at school. He begins to look toward the sky, his mother always said keep track of the highest buildings so you know which direction you’re heading, or in.


Fear begins to take over the young boy. He doesn’t know whether to leave the bus, ask the driver for help or ask the middle-aged woman where he should go. Being raised by a Trinidadian mother, has caused him to be a bit shy when speaking to adults, he doesn’t want to cause a scene.



He finds the “Live Free Tower” in all its glory. He loves looking at it. It begins to calm the boy’s heartbeat slightly. He takes courage from it, for not long ago his school took a field trip there and for whatever reason, when the tour guide told his class of the main value of this tower is: “There is no Greater victory, than to fall from this world a free man,” those words ignited a new desire to be something more.

By seeing that tower and knowing what he wanted, he pushed aside his shyness, to ask the driver what he needed to do to be with his mother again. The driver instructs the boy to stay on the bus for he’s not far heading back to the station.  The boy shows gratitude and finds a seat close to the driver and begins to wonder about his father again.  Crixus does this all the way back to the station.


Turning to the boy now, who is near tears about his father yet again abandoning him.

“Do you know your home number?”

“Yes, it is 412-555-7777”. Said the boy nervously

They begin to walk to the subway offices, where they reach Crixus’ mother, Naevia over the phone. She explains that’s she’s on her way, which then the bus driver ensures the boy his mother is coming with a treat for being so brave.  He begins to smile; the one person who is always there for him is there yet again. Naevia had told the boy, that its ill advised to bother with Gannicus, but Crixus believes that everyone should have a chance to prove themselves. Gannicus had told him that he wanted to make good, when they waited for the bus.  Crixus believed him, but he realized that all he had ever wanted was just what he’s seen so many times, on TV, in movies or even at his friend’s house… a dad.



The boy hears nothing but the familiar sound of his mother’s heartbeat. Feels nothing but the softness of her mothers luscious red covered lipstick lips on his forehead, her Herbal Essence scented hair ever so gently cross his cheek and the warm embrace he’s known since being brought home from the hospital, 6 years ago tomorrow.

“Are you ok? Did anything happen to you?” said Naevia.

“Yes mommy, I grew up and I appreciate all that you have done for me ”

Naevia sheds a tear. The bus driver holds his back.

“Mom, I don’t need a treat, you’re special enough to me… can we go home now?”

With a smile of pure joy, Naevia responds

“Yes, my brave little guy.”


Written By: Xavier Lewis
eLEWsive Thoughts

Thank you for reading feedback is always helpful.

THAT’S IT! Cheers: “To Peace” . Your eLEWsive Thought Provided by: the “LEW System”
– Xavier – @CoolyoNgeLEW